What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
