..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
