just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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