nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
