Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
i think im in europe. pls send help
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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