I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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