Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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