yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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