I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
