WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
