I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
