That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
