haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
