I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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