He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize