Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
