I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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