When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize