I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Randomize
