i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Everyone says I win the strip club
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
