Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
