You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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