I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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