We won't sleep together?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize