I seem to have left my pride at pride
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
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okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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