I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
