I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
