Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
