i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
