My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize