non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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