No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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