someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Pooping to opera.
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