I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Randomize