I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
