I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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