I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
