How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
there was a trapeze. enough said
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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