well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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