would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
