My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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