And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
