How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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