Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
