i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
