Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
