Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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