I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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