it was like fucking gandolphs beard
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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