ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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