But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
