he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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