Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Randomize
