Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
