he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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