Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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