I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
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i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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