I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
