I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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